Confidential Info

Man: "I need to find out what class my wife is in right now."
Tech: "Sorry, we're not allowed to give that out."
Man (upset): "It's a medical emergency. A family medical emergency. I absolutely must see her!"
Tech: "I'm very sorry."
Man (upset): "Let me talk to your supervisor!"
Supervisor: "I'm very sorry but we're not allowed to disclose her whereabouts."
Man is enraged and leaves.

Turns out he came to find her because she did not turn up to their divorce hearing.

Motherly Closeness

Mom: "Hi. I'm calling for my daughter. We can't log into her account."
Tech: "Is your daughter over 18?"
Mom: "Yes"
Tech: "Then we need to talk to her directly. I'm sorry."
Mom: "Oh no. We have a VERY open family. We're open about grades and everything. That's just how we raise our kids."
Tech: "I'm sorry but we still need to speak to her directly."

Black Box

Orientation team to new students: "All of our podiums use black box technology"
Techs: "....."

Deleted Items

User: "Yeah every month or so some of my emails get deleted in my Outlook folders."
Tech: "Let me remote you."
User: "Okay"
Tech: "These are the folders?"
User: "Yes"
Tech: "The ones underneath deleted items?"
User: "Yes that's them."
Tech: "You've been working out of the deleted items folders? For how long?"
User: "Oh I've always used these ones. Can you recover my old folders?"
Tech: "You didn't call us when you first noticed the issue?"
User: "Oh I didn't get around to it. But now I need something."
Tech: "Well what's been happening is your inbox has been cleaning itself once a month, and because all your folders are in the deleted items folder, they're assuming you don't want these, and that they can be deleted."

This happens too often..

User: "I haven't received any emails today."
Tech: "Let me remote you."
::: Presses the + sign next to Today in Outlook :::
User: "Oh there they are! How did you do that!"

Class Roster

User: "I'm in peoplesoft and clicking on the class roster but it's not doing anything".
Tech: "That's odd. Let me have a peoplesoft specialist call you back in a bit."

Peoplesoft expert to Tech: "Yeah so it turns out she was clicking on the example button. It was just a jpeg image."

Your website isn't working.

Old lady: "Your website isn't working."
Tech: "Are you at home?"
Old Lady: "Yes"
Tech: "Are you able to get to another website?"
Old Lady: "No, your website isn't working."
Tech: "Can you try typing in www.yahoo.com into your browser?"
Old Lady: "It says page cannot be displayed."
Tech: "Then that's a connection problem you are having at your house. Who is your internet provider?"
Old Lady: "AT&T"
Tech: "We unfortunately cannot help you. We would recommend that you talk to your ISP or Best Buy or Fry's tech support."
Old Lady: "My grandson set this up for me. Let me talk to your supervisor!"

-supervisor goes to her house -

Supervisor: "She had been screwing around with her wires. She said she was using a screwdriver? She had a couple of them switched and it seemed to work now"

- the next day -

Old lady: "My internet is having the same issue!"

- supervisor goes to her house -

- the next day -

Old lady: "Your supervisor was here. She could not fix my problem. My modem was off. I turned it on. Now there's a red blinking light."
Tech: "We unfortunately cannot support you on a personal computer or network. Have you called AT&T?"
Old Lady: "I did but they put me hold and I'm never gonna call back again!!"
:: hangs up :::

Keyboards

User: "Do you have any keyboards?"
Tech : "Let me check." "Yes you can come pick..."
User: "Okay I'm in room 444."
Tech: "Okay."
User: "Is it very difficult to hook up a keyboard?"